As strange as it may seem, there are cases in which a mother is not capable of giving the love that her son or daughter needs. This lack of affection translates into children with attachment problems and little mental stability.
It can be very hard to realize that our own mother does not feel as much affection as we would like. Sometimes, it is just a subjective feeling after a fight or a distance, however, it may turn out to be a reality that we will have to face in the best possible way. If in your head you cannot get rid of the thought ” I feel that my mother does not love me: what do I do? “, we invite you to read the following article.
Why do I feel that my mother doesn’t love me?
As we have discussed before, it is possible that we feel that our mother does not like us because we have argued with her or have distanced ourselves for other reasons. Perhaps, we have recently become independent and our mother is trying to overcome the empty nest syndrome and, for that reason, she does not contact us as much.
It is also normal to feel that your mother does not love you when you are a teenager. At that time in our lives, many frictions arise between the family and it is difficult to maintain a relationship free of arguments. When we are teenagers , we often feel misunderstood by our families and that is why we can come to think that they do not love us.
However, one should not completely rule out the possibility that the feeling “my mother doesn’t love me” is not entirely untrue. This perception of detachment can produce in us a feeling of dissatisfaction, low self-esteem and a strong emotional emptiness. There are mothers who have not really developed a close bond of attachment with their sons or daughters and they notice it, there are mothers with toxic, manipulative behaviors, competitive mothers…
In order to leave behind the pain of thinking that your mother does not love you, we must assume that this type of behavior exists in certain family figures. Denying it only blocks our emotions and is counterproductive in the long run. Once we have accepted that our mother does not love us as much as we would like, we will be able to develop our own strengths and be able, in time, to get ahead.
How to know if your mother does not love you
In order to know if the thoughts we have are just sensations or if our mother really does not love us, we must learn to identify a toxic mother . Although they can act in various ways, they usually have several of the following characteristics:
- She is emotionally or physically abusive.
- She neglects your basic needs, such as food, shelter, and clothing.
- She is critical of you and your choices.
- She makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
- She compares you to others in a negative way.
- She doesn’t show you any affection.
- She doesn’t take an interest in your life.
- She doesn’t support your dreams or goals.
The toxic parent syndrome
In the event that, indeed, our mother does not feel love for us, it is possible that we are facing a case of toxic parent syndrome. These cases are characterized by being mothers with little or no interest in exercising their maternal role. It is possible that this syndrome develops in women who did not really want to be mothers but, for reasons beyond their control, could not terminate the pregnancy.
Consequences of the toxic progenitor syndrome
The consequences of a toxic bond between mother and child can be extremely unpleasant. For sons and daughters, it entails a sense of detachment that they may carry with them for the rest of their lives. It is likely that they do not easily get rid of the thought of ” I feel that my mother does not love me ” and this idea can lead to enormous insecurities when establishing new personal relationships. In addition, these children often grow up with low self-esteem.
What to do if my mother does not love me
Once we have realized that our mother does not love us, it is time to act accordingly. It is easy to say but we understand that it is a complicated process. For this process of improvement, a lot of willpower and thoughts are needed that constantly feed our self-esteem. We must be strong in the face of adversity and accept that on the path of life, our mother is not going to accompany us in the way we would like.
Here are some simple steps based on psychological therapy to know what to do if you feel that your mother does not love you:
Accept your feelings
It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or sad if your mother does not love you. It’s important to accept your feelings and allow yourself to experience them. Trying to suppress your emotions can lead to long-term psychological effects.
It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust, such as a therapist or a close friend, about your experiences. They can provide you with emotional support and help you process your feelings. You can also join support groups for people who have experienced similar situations.
If your mother’s behavior is toxic or abusive, it’s important to set boundaries to protect yourself. This can include limiting contact with her or cutting off contact altogether. It’s important to prioritize your own mental health and well-being.
Focus on positive relationships
Although it’s difficult to accept that your mother may not love you, it’s important to focus on the relationships in your life that are positive and supportive. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you, and prioritize those relationships.
It’s important to take care of yourself, especially if you’ve experienced trauma or neglect from your mother. This can include engaging in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Prioritizing your own physical and emotional health is essential.
Seek professional help
If you’re struggling with the emotional aftermath of not being loved by your mother, seeking professional help can be beneficial. A therapist can help you process your feelings and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma.
Living with the feeling that your mother does not love you is not an easy task, which is why we recommend following this process of overcoming slowly and unhurriedly, following each step and each piece of advice at the pace we need. It can take a long time before we can be able to get ahead independently
This article is merely informative, at MxContent we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.