My mother emotionally blackmails me: why and what to do

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Mothers who emotionally blackmail their children may have various underlying reasons for their behavior. Some may have an overprotective mothering style and use emotional blackmail to prevent their children from taking risks or making their own choices. Others may be controlling and manipulative due to their own insecurities, and they use emotional blackmail to keep their children under their influence. Still others may become dependent on their children’s affection and support, and they use emotional blackmail to prevent their children from leaving them or becoming independent. All of these factors, alone or in combination, can lead to unfair and harmful maternal behaviors that affect children’s well-being and development.

In this article, we will explore the issue of mothers who emotionally blackmail their children and provide some insights and tips on what to do if you are in this situation. We will give some examples of emotional blackmail behaviors from mothers and explain why they occur. We will also offer some suggestions on how to cope with emotional blackmail and protect yourself from its negative impact.

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Types of emotional blackmail from mothers

Overprotective mothers

One example of emotional blackmail is overprotective mothers who use it to prevent their children from exposing themselves to potential dangers that they perceive as real. In these cases, the child may interpret the mother’s behavior as protection and care, making it difficult to oppose her. However, the child may feel discomfort and inner unease at her mother’s request, indicating emotional blackmail.

Controlling mothers and manipulative mothers

If you have an overprotective mother who emotionally blackmails you, it can be challenging to resist her tactics, especially if you feel that you owe her respect or gratitude. However, it is crucial to recognize that emotional blackmail is not a healthy or acceptable way of communicating and that you have the right to assert your own needs and boundaries. You can start by expressing your feelings in a calm and assertive way, such as saying “Mom, I appreciate your concern, but I need to make my own decisions and take some risks in life. Please trust me and support me, instead of making me feel guilty or afraid.” It may take some time and effort to change your mother’s behavior, but it is worth trying if you want to have a more positive and respectful relationship with her.

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Mothers dependent on their children

In this case, the mothers who are dependent on their children adopt unhealthy and pathological attitudes that end up manipulating and extorting money from their children. One example of an emotional blackmailer is that mothers with great emotional deficiencies mistakenly associate themselves with their children, offering them unconditional motherhood in exchange for an unconscious contract of absolute fidelity. When the children try to take steps towards their independence and personal vital development, the mother initiates behaviors of emotional blackmail with the unconscious intention of keeping her son by her side.

ALSO READ: Why does my daughter hate me and should I do?

What Should You Do When Your Mother Emotionally Blackmails You?

  1. Understand the root cause: It’s important to understand that emotional blackmail from a mother can stem from emotional immaturity and deficiencies. Your mother may be demanding responses that meet her needs through emotional manipulation because she lacks the ability to self-manage internally.
  2. Recognize the impact: Emotional blackmail can cause discomfort and conflict, and it’s important to recognize the impact it has on you and your family.
  3. Seek external help: If you’re a minor, seek external help from a trusted adult, such as a teacher, counselor, or family member. If you’re an adult, consider seeking help from a therapist or support group.
  4. Modify your response: Analyze your own response and behavior to see if you’re perpetuating the emotional blackmail. Modifying small aspects of your behavior can have a positive impact on the interactions with your mother and create more constructive situations for the whole family.
  5. Be patient and persistent: Changing behavior takes time and effort, so be patient and persistent in your efforts to create a healthier relationship with your mother.

This article is merely informative, at MxContent we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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