The feeling of shame is one of the most recognizable since the fear of making a fool of yourself, for example, is a common one that is linked to the fear of what others will say. However, when a person lives with the constant barrier of shame, then he feels a habitual block in situations that many other people do naturally. During those moments of shame, the affected person feels exposed to others. He censors himself and avoids many of the situations that make him uncomfortable. What happens in avoidance? That feeling of insecurity grows.
5 possible causes that lead you to feel ashamed
- Excess shyness. Shyness to an extreme degree can make you feel uncomfortable in totally everyday situations. Excessive shyness is a brake on relationships with new people, but it is also a limit in known contexts since the person lives conditioned by a limiting vision of himself.
- A negative experience. Shame can also be conditioned by the cause and effect relationship between a humiliating situation and the discomfort associated with that experience which has a negative psychological impact on the person. In this case, this feeling is fed back from the constant memory of the person who updates that past situation through memory.
- Limiting beliefs. Your own beliefs can condition you in a negative way when you do not allow yourself to show certain parts of yourself by living conditioned by the desire to project an image of perfection to others, seeking continuous approval. While some people are capable of laughing at themselves when confronted with possible ridiculous situations that have a comic point, on the contrary, those who feel ashamed in the face of those same situations blame themselves for them.
- A social fear . This feeling is also highly conditioned by the culture of a given context conditioned by negative prejudices around certain circumstances.
- Familiar surroundings. Sometimes, this way of being habitual has its origin in childhood motivated by an authoritarian education style marked by emotional rigidity and constant corrections.
These are some of the reasons why you are ashamed of everything. Nevertheless, they are not the only ones. We recommend that you be 100% honest with yourself and analyze your feelings; In this way, you will be able to get to know yourself better and find out what makes you so shy.
What to do when you feel ashamed about everything
After having analyzed the causes of shame, we give you the keys to open new doors of well-being in your life:
- Give yourself the opportunity to explore new sensations. Don’t be afraid of being uncomfortable with shame. The fear of fear is the biggest trap of this feeling. This fear is cowardly and escapes when you laugh at your own weaknesses. Are you embarrassed by a situation? So, try to find the funny side. Try to observe that situation externally to yourself, in this way, it will be easier for you to do so.
- Write an emotional journal to take inventory of experiences. What situations make you most uncomfortable? What sensations do you experience at that moment? What can you do to position yourself differently in these situations from now on?
- Search for new situations. Try to gradually expose yourself to new experiences. For example, if you find it difficult to talk to strangers, you can challenge yourself to ask someone on the street where a certain address is, as if you were a tourist looking for directions in an unknown place.
- Laughter therapy workshop. An experience of these characteristics is especially educational on an emotional level thanks to experiential exercises that have a therapeutic objective: to promote humor as a philosophy of life.
- You are perfect despite your flaws . For this reason, accept your weaknesses in a natural way without being ashamed by aspects that you would like to change. The first step to building self-esteem is to love yourself just the way you are. Shame feeds on negative thoughts that come to mind with the weight of censorship. Change those ideas for other kind messages towards you.
- Change the focus of attention, observe an external aspect of yourself. In this way, you divert attention from that inner feeling that leads you to experience this weight.
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This article is merely informative, we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to see a psychologist to treat your particular case.